The first

So I am sitting over here thinking to myself like, “OK, I just named this “The first,” so what does that mean Vanessa? If you want people to read an maybe laugh then you need to be better than this vague title.” OKAY…challenge accepted. Before I go on there is like a HUGE disclaimer I need to share and that is my humor is not going to be funny for everyone as it comes from very true and real experiences from my life as me, a wife and a mom. I am sarcastic and have been trying reallyyy hard to cut down on the swearing but that’s a hard game to follow. I think I am funny and people will be able to relate to me but, who knows. Disclaimer over.

HERE WE GO:

My name is Vanessa and I am A LOT of things. First and foremost, I am a mom, mama and mommyyyyyyyyyyy and “hey you” to a 3 1/2 year old (most commonly known as a 43 month old) boy named Teddy. I married my high school sweetheart, Clifford, in 2014 and we’ve been together for like 16 years (HOLY F). There is a reason why we have been together for over half our lives and that is because we are completely different people. So you might be saying like “whattttttt?” but it works, trust me. I challenge him, he challenges me and in the end I win so trust me, it works people.

So before I go on, and I should have said at the beginning, but this is like just a brief intro to me and my life and maybe I just needed to write this down because I am already like “OMG, I can’t say that if I don’t say this” etc. So if things seem weird, it’s because it is and I’ll explain later 🙂 I am weird and awkward, you’ll see.

I love creative writing. I am not perfect at it but neither is creative writing. You WILL see typos and errors and IDGAF so period. I am from upstate New York but am really a Texas girl at heart. Until you talk shit about the Yankees or ask me why I am saying something super funny sounding or talk bad about my family then well, the NY girl will come out fast and furious. One of the reasons I love creative writing so much is because I can make it all my own. It is no one else’s story to tell; it’s mine. I can write my thoughts as they come and not be worried about it being correct because well as I said earlier, nothing is perfect and I am definitely not perfect. The greatest things about me are some of my biggest flaws and downfalls but that is what makes me….me.

OK so this was fun! My first time writing creatively (well in my mind) in a long time. And let me tell you, MOM BRAIN is like a real thing because I am over here typing and my thoughts and my hands are not matching up. Which is why this blog is going to be funny AF and you need to keep reading. I’ll get better at putting my thoughts to paper but for now, this is what you get 🙂